Obviously, everything about great sex involves touching. Really mastering the subtleties of touching is one of the best ways to really explode a woman's ideas of just how amazing sex can be. The thing that I really love about the "idea" of touching a girl, is that the sensation travels in both directions. She gets the pleasure of feeling your hands on her skin, and you get the pleasure of feeling her skin with your hands. And when you are both really in tune with that exchange of pleasure, it can be absolutely awesome. So what is the best way to touch a woman? It depends on the woman. I'm going to explain EXACTLY what you need to know to figure it out for your woman.

There are a few important keys to touching that can let her know, INSTANTLY that you know exactly what you are doing-- and get her powerfully aroused.


The first thing you should know, if you don't already, is that women LOVE to be touched. Touch is very important to all humans, but it is, generally, much more important to women, and they respond very strongly to touch. It is a powerful reward to a woman when you touch her, and it can instantly make her feel great. Now, of course, some women are more reserved about it...some are more formal and are not comfortable feeling such good feelings with someone until they know them well. Some women are just closed off and don't like anyone to enter their space, and even in a relationship, they resist having another person touch them so easily...And some women simply do not like being touched. They find it unpleasant and they recoil from it. But the truth is, women in those last two categories (ABSOLUTELY those in the last one) have had some trauma in their lives, probably child sexual abuse, that has damaged them to the extent that they can't accept this natural and beautiful form of shared pleasure. That's a sad truth of the world.

For the other women, depending on their degree of shyness, touch is always a pleasure and a treat...assuming they like the guy that is touching them, and it's appropriate to the relationship. By appropriate, I mean, a female friend might love it if you rub her shoulders, but might be uncomfortable with something more "romantic," like caressing her hair and cheek. I am going to talk about touching in a romantic context, whether it be on a first date or with your wife of 20 years. And I'm not talking about directly sexual touching. Sensual touching is an art that you should definitely spend some time mastering -- because it will be incredibly rewarding to both you and the woman in your life.


Touch her more. However much you are already touching your girlfriend, wife, or lover...you can do it more often. I can't emphasize enough how much of an emotional connection and bond can be formed by this simple action. Women link many feelings of sexuality,love, and trust with the sensations that are aroused in them when a man puts his hands on her.

It can make her feel both sexually excited and safe at the same time. It can also make her body release certain chemicals into her blood that make her feel more attraction to and more comfort with the man that she is with.

How's that for the simplest tip ever?

Try it out. I promise that it is as effective as it is simple.

Look into her eyes. Well, here's one that's even more simple...but again...it's so much more powerful than it sounds. When you are putting your hand on her, whether you are caressing or squeezing...or petting or holding or any other kind of touching...Look into her eyes as you are doing it.

You will find that if you hold eye contact with a woman -- even if she looks down for a moment -- she will be drawn into your gaze and that you can hold her there. This will add an amazing amount of emotional intensity to your touch. She will feel it deeply in her body.

You may think, heck, I already look at her when I touch her...But just try this -- try being aware of intentionally holding her eye contact as you touch her.

I think you will find that it makes a very big difference.



Try touching her in new ways. There are particular types of touching that women find more romantic, more sensual, and more arousing than others. And, of course, since all women are different, you're going to have to do some experimenting to find out what the woman in your life responds to most. The key is to really tune in to her and notice how she is responding. That tuning in or "Paying Attention" that I always talk about, is actually the really important part of this tip...

But here are a few ways you should try touching her -- most women respond very positively towards ALL of them.

Pay attention to see which ones your girl goes for:

Use the very tips of your fingers and run them very, very lightly, so that it is almost a tickle, anywhere (or everywhere) on her skin.
Stroke her gently, but not tentatively with the entire face of your hand. Try running it up her back, her neck, her legs, arms, or the side of her face.
Just hold her firmly. This can be such a powerful feeling for a woman. Just place your hand on her shoulder, the back of her neck, her thigh, arm, or hand...and just hold her. Let her feel your masculine strength, but don't, obviously, hurt her. If you do this right, she should feel the tenderness and protectiveness behind your touch.
Cup her with your hand, and stroke gently with your thumb...This combines the first idea of gentle finger tips with the last one of holding her firmly...
I particularly like to hold the back of her neck and then gently stroke her cheek with my thumb...while looking into her eyes. Also try holding the back of her head and stroking her temple, or hold her arm and stroke her shoulder, or her thigh and stroke her knee.
Add eye contact to all of these and she will melt.
Pet her hair. I have never met a woman who does not enjoy having her hair stroked. For girls with straight hair, you can let your fingers run through it. If she has curly hair, just pet, so that you don't get stuck and start yanking on her knots!
To really send her into orbit, start at her neck and use your fingers to pet upwards into her hair along her scalp. You can bring a woman very close to orgasm with this one.


Tip #4: Feel With Your Feelings. I saved the best one for last...but it is also the one that is most complicated to explain, and can be more challenging for some men to master. That's because, as guys, we're just not as "in touch with our feelings" as women are. But this is of HUGE importance if you really want to rock her world in ways that will make her forget any other guy she has ever been with.

The basic truth is: A woman can FEEL, not just the physical sensation of your hand on her skin, but also she can FEEL the emotional content of your touch.

I know this sounds a little bit "out there," but again, as always, I challenge you to TRY it before you dismiss it because this is really an incredibly powerful truth. When you touch a woman while thinking sexual thoughts about her, and when you focus that intent into your touch, she will FEEL it very strongly... and her body will respond to it. That sexual energy will flow from you and into her.

Likewise, when you feel tender feelings of attraction and protectiveness for your woman, and you stroke her hair, it makes her feel loved and safe. And there is nothing that will provide you both with a more amazing night of mind-melting sex than when the woman in your arms feels loved and safe.




I know that I'm leaving a lot out here, and that, especially this last tip is kind of hard to wrap your brain around. The truth is, that this issue of touching with emotion is part of a MUCH bigger picture of understanding women and female sexuality, and just too big a topic for this article.

However, don't hesitate to get started by using the great tips above. You will be amazed that even these brain-dead simple tips can make a huge difference in how women respond to you sexually.

If you are in a relationship, you will be even more amazed at the positive changes that just a tiny bit of information can cause. You can go to a marriage counselor, or talk to a therapist, or read books on "communicating" better, but there is NOTHING in my experience that improves a relationship more or strengthens the bond between a man and a woman than touch and sex.

Alexander Allman is the author of a Revolutionary Sex ebook and also offers more tips like these in his free newsletter.